FAML300 Week #13 - Transitions in Marriage

Finances in Marriage

  

One of the highest causes of divorce is troubles with finances.  This can be a great strain on a marriage if a couple isn’t sure how to handle their money or if they don’t see eye to eye regarding the family money.  It was interesting to learn about all of the different factors that play a part in the way we choose to handle our money in our marriage.  The first factor is the way that we were raised.  We each bring to marriage our own set of “family rules” that we learned either because they were spoken or they were unspoken rules that were followed in the family.  For example I came into my marriage with the belief that credit cards were a perfectly acceptable alternative method of paying for items as long as you managed them wisely and payed off balances.  My husbands family believed that credit cards were not a good thing and they paid everything in cash or money order.  This was a source of struggle for us in the beginning but we soon learned how to compromise and figured out our own way of handling the bills.  In my family my father took care of the money/bills and we didn’t hear much about it but in my husband’s family his mother primarily took care of the bills and she was extremely vocal and open about their finances.  These “rules” we come into marriage with are important to be aware of. 
Another factor that plays a part in the way we handle our finances is our birth order. 

  This was especially interesting to me as I would have never thought that this had anything to do with money.  For example first born children often are very responsible with their money, they like to be in control and they generally make a good living.  Last born children are often used to getting what they want and tend to spend a lot for the things they want, have higher credit balances and debt-to-income ratios.  Its important to be aware of these issues we bring to our marriage as well when discussing finances with our spouse. 
If we want to be successful in managing our money we must first be willing to follow wise counsel from our Prophet who teaches us to save, be prepared for emergencies, pay our tithes and offerings and to avoid unnecessary debt.  We can also work to develop some other character traits that will helps in our money management.  Some of these traits include:  Self-reliance, accurate perception of reality, flexibility, active appreciation, imagination, appreciation of emotional costs, (ie. Emotional strain on family due to increased debt, etc.) and charity.  If we can work to develop some of these traits we will be better able not only manage our money but also work together with our spouse to achieve great success and financial security. 

Of course the greatest factor in managing our finances is always turning to the Lord in all our affairs and decisions that we make.  If we seek Him and put Him first then we will always have what we need.