FAML 300 - WEEK #11 - Fidelity and Physical Intimacy

Intimacy in Marriage

I believe that intimacy in marriage is so important for so many reasons to our marriages here on earth and also throughout the rest of eternity.  Because of its importance and significance it is perhaps the aspect of marriage that is under the greatest attack by the adversary.  He has devised so many means whereby he has been able to destroy, belittle, degrade, distort and break this sacred and most natural and special bond that husbands and wives share.  His use of pornography (Link - Affects of Pornography on Families) in all its forms both directed towards men and women have almost destroyed our real, clear and true understanding and expectations of true intimacy and love in marriage.   Goddard said this about pornography, “keep your soul free of the soul numbing barrenness of pornography.  The greatest sin of pornography may be that it reduces the sacrament of intimacy to a random and wanton act of self-gratification.”  In spite of the messages and images that flood our media, homes, stores, computers, phones, etc. we must guard ourselves diligently against the distorted truth about what intimacy should be.  True, natural and simple affection and true charity – putting each other’s needs above our own - must be the most important aspect of our relationships and the guiding principle for everything we do in marriage.  

I believe that the physical act of joining a man and woman together serves as a great symbol for unity within a marriage and also unity with God.  It is meant to serve as a reminder of the “sealing” and binding power of our covenants with each other and our covenant with God that we will love Him first and our spouses above all else.  Pres. Spencer W. Kimball said this:

“There are those married people who permit their eyes to wander and their hearts to become vagrant, who think it is not improper to flirt a little, to share their hearts and have desire for someone else other than the wife or husband.  The Lord says in no uncertain terms: ‘Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else’ (D&C 42:22)

And when the Lord says all thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving… The words none else eliminate everyone and everything.  The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse…”

It is pretty clear how the Lord feels about intimacy in marriage. 

Physical intimacy in marriage is also meant as an expression of our love and devotion for each other and is the means by which we are given the amazing blessing to become co-creators with God in bringing souls to this earth and giving them a body and a mortal experience.  The power that we each possess is so big and so real it is no wonder that Satan hates us for it and desires nothing more than to destroy it. 

It is worth every moment of time and effort that we can spend learning and growing and changing in this area of our lives.  I am including below some links to some amazing resources on this topic:

Matheson, K.W. Fidelity in marriage: It's more than you think. Ensign, Sept. 2009, 13-16.

Barlow, B. A. "They Twain Shall Be One : Thoughts on intimacy in marriage", Ensign, Sept 1986, 49.