Finances in Marriage
One of the highest
causes of divorce is troubles with finances. This can be a great
strain on a marriage if a couple isn’t sure how to handle their money or if
they don’t see eye to eye regarding the family money. It was
interesting to learn about all of the different factors that play a part in the
way we choose to handle our money in our marriage. The first factor
is the way that we were raised. We each bring to marriage our own
set of “family rules” that we learned either because they were spoken or they
were unspoken rules that were followed in the family. For example I
came into my marriage with the belief that credit cards were a perfectly
acceptable alternative method of paying for items as long as you managed them
wisely and payed off balances. My husbands family believed that
credit cards were not a good thing and they paid everything in cash or money
order. This was a source of struggle for us in the beginning but we
soon learned how to compromise and figured out our own way of handling the bills. In
my family my father took care of the money/bills and we didn’t hear much about
it but in my husband’s family his mother primarily took care of the bills and
she was extremely vocal and open about their finances. These “rules”
we come into marriage with are important to be aware of.
Another factor that plays a part in the way we handle our finances is our birth order.
Another factor that plays a part in the way we handle our finances is our birth order.
This was especially interesting to
me as I would have never thought that this had anything to do with
money. For example first born children often are very responsible
with their money, they like to be in control and they generally make a good
living. Last born children are often used to getting what they want
and tend to spend a lot for the things they want, have higher credit balances
and debt-to-income ratios. Its important to be aware of these issues
we bring to our marriage as well when discussing finances with our
spouse. If we want to be successful in managing our money we must first be willing to follow wise counsel from our Prophet who teaches us to save, be prepared for emergencies, pay our tithes and offerings and to avoid unnecessary debt. We can also work to develop some other character traits that will helps in our money management. Some of these traits include: Self-reliance, accurate perception of reality, flexibility, active appreciation, imagination, appreciation of emotional costs, (ie. Emotional strain on family due to increased debt, etc.) and charity. If we can work to develop some of these traits we will be better able not only manage our money but also work together with our spouse to achieve great success and financial security.
Of course the greatest
factor in managing our finances is always turning to the Lord in all our
affairs and decisions that we make. If we seek Him and put Him first
then we will always have what we need.
