I continue to talk about faith because I believe this is
truly the answer that we all seek in order to improve our marriage
relationships. What does faith have to do with marriage? Everything.
Faith points our minds and our hearts toward God, toward our Savior
Jesus Christ. If we have faith in them,
we see hard things in our lives differently.
We see people differently. We see
ourselves differently. I focus my
thoughts once again on the writings of Wallace Goddard as I have come to know
for myself that what he teaches is true.
“Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ provides eternal perspective.” (Loc
1112) As a person who has experienced
great difficulties in my own marriage over the course of 17 years, I have come to realize that there is only one
way to overcome challenges successfully in a marriage. I must rely upon the Lord. He is the one in whom I place all of my
trust. People are imperfect. My husband is imperfect and I certainly am
imperfect. Therefore, the only source I can truly and consistently rely upon is
the Lord. This is the answer. There are
some who see difficulties in marriage and in life in general as some kind of
cruel joke inflicted upon us by our supreme creator. Their eyes have not yet been opened. “Jesus taught something far nobler: Life as
perfectly guided moral education.” (loc1133)
Having faith is knowing that all we experience in this life our Father
in Heaven will make it work for our good if we allow Him to do so. If we look to Him. “When we have vibrant faith in the Lord Jesus
Christ, we know that the irritations and challenges of marriage are blessings
intended to develop our character.” (Loc 1148)
Elder Holland observed, “too often too many of us run from the very
things that will bless us and save us…”
Many years ago, my husband and I were in the middle of a particularly
difficult challenge in our marriage. I
was to the point that I wanted to give up.
I doubted the possibility that people can change, that my marriage could
change. I felt hopeless and broken. All of my focus was centered on how much I
had suffered, how unfair my life was and the mistakes of my husband. I was led by the spirit to read a book and
there was one sentence in that book that changed everything for me from that
point on. It states, “Being mistreated
is the most important condition of mortality, for eternity itself depends on
how we view those who mistreat us.” (Ferrell, 33) To me this is an attitude of
complete faith. Our eternal progression
depends upon us experiencing mistreatments, injustices, pains, sorrows, etc.
etc. It is how we view those who
mistreat and how we respond to these circumstances that makes all the
difference in our lives. They are
opportunities, even the greatest blessings.
I saw my husband and my marriage very differently from that point
on. I still have a lot of learning to do
and I still forget this most important principle from time to time but this is
the answer. It will always be the answer
to my struggles.
It is extremely important to note that “Satan knows that
faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His redemptiveness are enemies to his
cause. Satan’s best hope is to keep us
from looking up. He must keep us fully
absorbed with the trivial, fretting over our inconveniences and stewing over
our grievances.” (Loc 1140) If he can
make us doubt and focus our attention on all the little injustices in our lives
that is all he has to do. It is simply a
matter of which direction we are facing.
Are we looking up or are we continuously looking down?
There is another great blessing of faith in a marriage. We have the unique gift and opportunity to
see our spouse as our Father in Heaven sees them. We live with this imperfect person. We are exposed to their faults and weaknesses
daily and yet we have the opportunity to see them for who they really are. The Lord will grant us this gift if we ask
Him. “Brigham Young was once approached
by two sisters, each of whom wanted a divorce.
I paraphrase his response: ‘If you could only see your husband as he
will be in the glorious resurrection, this very husband you now say you
despise, your first impulse would be to kneel and worship him.’ He said the same thing to husbands who had
‘fallen out of love’ with their wives.
Those are mighty words.” (Loc
1140) What a powerful promise from our beloved Prophet Brigham Young. If we can strive daily, to search for the
good in our spouse we will find it. If
we desire to see them for who they really are we will blessed to do so. This will change everything for us.
How differently would our daily interactions with one
another be if we could truly see each other the way the Lord sees us… with all
of our divine potential? This is faith
in its most powerful form. If faith’s
power can raise the dead, part the sea, move a mountain - then surely it can transform our marriage
into something so much more than we ever dreamed of.
Ferrell, James L. The
Peacegiver: How Christ Offers to Heal Our Hearts and Homes. Salt Lake City,
UT: Deseret Book, 2004. Print.
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