Important Lessons
learned about Marriage from Adam and Eve
In his book, “Drawing Heaven into your Marriage,” Goddard
points out some important lessons learned from Adam and Eve. I had never thought to look at what I can personally learn from our first parents on the earth about marriage. This was very enlightening. We know that the curse that was given to Adam
and Eve as they left the Garden of Eden was actually a blessing. It was the only way for them to know good
from evil and to progress. It is interesting to me that
as we take a closer look at their story and their testimonies we can learn a
lot about marriage and how to improve our relationship with our spouse.
“The human story began with obedience and sacrifice.” (Loc 844). What does obedience and sacrifice
have to do with marriage? Goddard
explains that “success in marriage hinges on our willingness to apply the same
principles.”
Obedience:
After Adam and Eve left the presence of God in the Garden
they went into the lone and dreary world.
Sometimes our lives in our marriages can feel like a “lone and dreary
world”. But Adam called upon God. “The only remedy for our loneliness is to
call upon God.” (loc727). God gave Adam
and Eve commandments and Adam was obedient to those commandments. They were obedient without knowing exactly why
they were asked to do certain things (Moses 5:6). Faith is fundamental to obedience. The Lord
will always show us the path we are to take for our own journey in this
life. If we exercise faith in God and
complete reliance on Him we will be willing to be obedient to do what he asks
of us. Even if that is more patience
with our spouse, more time devoted to our spouse, more willingness to help out
around the house, willingness to forgive quickly and over and over again, etc. Whatever he asks of us we will be willing to
obey Him whether we understand it or not.
“Faith is the stubborn resolve to see God blessing us in all
circumstances. Even in our struggles and
disappointments, faith requires us to believe God is ministering to us.” (loc
751) This leads us to the next important
principle:
Sacrifice:
Adam and Eve were to offer their very best, “the firstlings
of their flocks.” They were to lay their
best upon the altar before God and sacrifice what they needed or wanted
most. There is a powerful lesson here
for each of us regarding marriage. “Sacrifices
are the key to our eternal growth and eternal possibilities.” (Loc 760). “What we obtain too easily, we esteem too
lightly.” (loc 773) If we are to truly grow and become “one” in
our marriages and become like our heavenly parents then it requires great
effort on our part and great sacrifice. When
things get hard in marriage we must see it as an opportunity for our own
growth, for us to give up something for something better. Nothing comes without a price. Only the investment we make in our marriages
pays far greater than any other investment we can make in this life and in the
life to come. We have to determine for
ourselves, what are our “firstlings” of our own flocks? What are the things that we can lay upon the
altar of God and sacrifice in behalf of our relationship with our spouse? What are we truly willing to sacrifice or give up?
The Savior requires us to have a “broken heart and a
contrite spirit.” What does this
mean? Elder Bruce C. Hafen explained, "animal sacrifices symbolized the Father's sacrifice of Son, but the sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit symbolizes the Son's sacrifice of himself. Elder James E. Talmage wrote that 'Jesus died of a broken heart in similitude we now offer ourselves - our own broken hearts - as a personal sacrifice.'" (Bruce C. Hafen - The Temple and the Natural Order of Marriage) Goddard gives his definition of
this great sacrifice. It means to “surrender
our demands that things be done our way.
We become agreeable, submissive, cooperative, appreciative.” (782) So often in marriage we hold our partner to a
set of standards and most of those standards are both unreasonable and
unexpressed. And then we judge and
complain and get frustrated when they don’t live up to these standards or
expectations. “Overtime this leads to
cancerous assurance that our partner is fatally flawed. The cure for this is humble submission… a
broken heart and a contrite spirit.” (Loc 782). What do we gain for ourselves if we can
truly do this? “In striking the marriage
bargain, we are (unknowingly) giving up the egocentrisms of childhood in favor
of the charity of Godhood. We make a
covenantal step toward unselfishness. As
we progress in marriage we gain ennobled character as well as eternal
companionship.” (Loc 796). This is a
great promise. We as a covenant people just
as Adam and Eve were required, covenant to bring all to the altar – “the Lord
cannot bless what we will not bring.”
(Loc 812). This is so important to
remember. We must be willing to bring
our whole souls to him so that He can transform us. What we bring to the altar, will be accepted
and it will change us if it is done in the name of the beloved Son. “We do it in the spirit of
redemptiveness. We do it as a small but
meaningful imitation of His sacrifice.
We show our willingness to rescue our spouse by giving up our tiny preferences
in favor of our spouse’s blessing.” (Loc 803). This is the only way to true happiness in
marriage now and forever.
“Each of us should
pray earnestly for the heavenly help to make those sacrifices that will
sanctify our relationships. As we enter
our homes, we can pause to beseech God to grant us grace, goodness, mercy,
compassion, and patience. We can ask
Father to help us see our partner and his or her struggles with the
loving-kindness with which He views them.
In so doing, we place our time, our minds and our hearts on the
altar. That is the ultimate offering,
the required sacrifice. Making this
sacrifice is the heart and soul of the required obedience.” (Loc.812)
Reference:
Reference:
Goddard, H. Wallace. Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage: Powerful
Principles with Eternal Results.
Fairfax, VA: Meridian Pub., 2007. Kindle Version
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