MY PURPOSE

The purpose of this blog is to create a place to provide resources that may help to strengthen marriages and families and to record and share my thoughts, impressions, feelings and knowledge about a broad spectrum of family topics and in exploring and learning more about family functions and the influence family life has on individuals and society. Topics include family relationships, family dynamics, gender, family science research, intimacy in marriage, same sex attraction, parenting, etc. I am excited to share what I am learning about the family and hope that readers will feel free to share as well that together we might strengthen, protect and defend the family as the fundamental unit of our society. ** Please look for the FHE Ideas at the end of certain posts to use as a resource for your families.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Marital Intimacy:
"We further declare that the powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." (The Family Proclamation)

Despite the worlds view on sexuality and intimacy we have been given special and sacred instructions regarding this delicate and important subject. "Marital sexuality serves several purposes for both husband and wife as individuals as well as for the couple relationship.  These purposes include becoming one, connecting with God, strengthening the emotional and spiritual bonds in marriage, avoiding temptation, and continuing the generational chain by bringing children into a family (Hawkins, p.49).  I would like to focus a little more on a couple of these purposes.  Becoming One: Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said that sexual union is a "welding...in matrimony...a physical blending [symbolic of a ] larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise...a symbol of total union... of their hearts, their hopes, their lives."  Connection with God.  One christian writer describes sex in marriage as "an act of worship, a sacrament of marriage that invites and welcomes the very presence of God" (Hawkins, p.50).  Some would argue that men and women are too different and those differences are a cruel act of God making it impossible for husband and wife to ever understand one another.  However, I would argue this point and declare that these differences are the very reason we have the opportunity to become like God. We cannot fully understand our partner unless we invite the spirit into our relationship.  It is only through the spirit of God that we will be able to truly know each other and have empathy and compassion.  And it is through this process that we come to truly know our Savior better and his perfect love and empathy for each of us.  Marital intimacy is a perfect opportunity for us to become truly selfless and put the needs of another above our own.
Here is a list of attitudes that help promote positive marital sexuality as including the beliefs that:
1. Sexual interaction is a healthy component of marriage that need not be a source of negative feelings or guilt.
2. Married persons deserve to feel good about their bodies and to view sexual expression as a normal, healthy part of their marriage.
3. A primary component of marital sexuality is giving and receiving pleasure-oriented touching in the context of an intimate, committed, and divinely supported relationship.  As such, it requires relaxation and focus on the other person as well as on one's own pleasure.
4. Sexuality should be expressed in a way that enhances your intimate, marital relationship and bonds you together.
5. Couples should strive to create a "we" relationship, where both partners' sharing and pleasure is important as opposed to one person individually focused on what she or he will get out of the experience.
(Hawkins, p. 52).

FHE Ideas:
Discuss the Proclamation: ""We further declare that the powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."
Read and discuss Elder Hollands talk, "Personal Purity" https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/10/personal-purity?lang=eng&query=souls+symbols+and+sacraments+1998
Discuss the attitudes listed above that promote healthy and positive marital intimacy.


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